This is an interview I conducted with Mr Todd Brunner one windy afternoon in Tesco Metro, Tunbridge Wells. I am grateful to Tesco staff for allowing us to drink all the Value gin, and shell and de-vein their prawns. I also thank Todd for being a delight to interview, especially as he was stroking my feet at the same time as being questioned/interrogated by my lovely self. I don't know if Todd's answers are real or fabricated, but that's all part of the fun, isn't it?

Why do people all over Britain who have never been there, think Tunbridge Wells is shit?

No reason. It's like why make fun of ginger haired people? Again no reason. There may have been a reason sometime in the distant past, but it's long forgotten. Tunbridge Wells seems to be a universal icon for the slow and mundane, but it's actually little different than other Kentish towns, except that it's much prettier. The population is generally quite young, which dispels the retirement town cliche, a misconception I've never understood.

The fact is, I've lived in the town that Tunbridge Wells is supposed to be, according to popular opinion, and that town is called Eastbourne. If you want to actually find the shit town you THINK Tunbridge Wells is, go there.

You've been called one of the "loons" of Tunbridge Wells. Why do you think that is?

I guess it's because I'm less interested in the real world than I am in an imaginary one of my own making. It's not that I don't care about the real world, it's just that I think my greatest strength is in making stuff up, so I like to concentrate on that. I find the mundanity of day to day life pretty boring. Rather than talk about that, which virtually everybody else does ad infinitum, I invent things which are hopefully a bit more entertaining.

It's all about entertainment for me. I've always been a showman looking for an audience. And I'll always jump on any opportunity to dispense a bit of the shit in my head, if I think I've got a platform to do so. Most people like to talk about real stuff because it makes them feel connected and better about their lives. That doesn't work for me. The only thing remotely interesting about me is my imagination. If I can use that in some way, THEN I feel good about my life.

As it happens, most people live in a fantasy world that they believe is the real one. I'm the opposite. I'm very rooted in reality, but spin fiction that I know isn't real. So who's the loon, really?

Do you have any real friends, or are they all made up?

Of course. I have lots of friends, both locally and scattered around the world. If what you're really trying to ask is "Are they like me?", then no, they aren't. The world is safe, there's only one Todd Brunner.

Why is The Nether Regions set in a fictional Tunbridge Wells instead of in an entirely fictional town?

Well first off, I like Tunbridge Wells. It's a town with a lot of physical character and charm, but you can miss a lot of that if you look at it from behind the wheel of a car. I spend a great deal of time walking around and looking at things. Certain places and things inspire me and stimulate my imagination. I can get into a kind of trance walking around imagining things. It's almost like I'm high. For some reason T-Wells has a lot of these places, more than anywhere else I've lived. So from my perspective, it's much more interesting to set The Nether Regions locally, and much more personal. Making up a completely fictional town is a bit easy, don't you think?

Actually I've been imagining fictional stories and situations set in Tunbridge Wells and wondering how to fit them into some kind of project for years. I've also been obsessed with the idea of mixing fact with fiction for a long time, blurring the line so that people might wonder what is true and what is not. The greatest compliment I could receive would be if someone actually came to Tunbridge Wells looking for tunnels and steam power.

Do you have a low opinion of humanity?

Yes. We are great where practical accomplishments like science and technology are concerned, but absolutely pathetic socially. And the greatest example of that is the fact that most people would disagree with what I've just said. It's a huge subject. Read this post where I talk about it in more depth.

Are you a true geek?

Of course I am, but I'm not interested in technology for technology's sake. I wouldn't buy or use something because it was a cool new device and I wanted to join the club like everyone else. I'm only interested in products that directly improve or empower my life and goals. If I don't see a place for it in what I do, I'm not interested. I think a lot of people let the products themselves define their life and goals. They look outside of themselves for direction. Those people are probably better consumers than me. I'm a marketing department's nightmare.

So who is your target audience?

My target audience has always been people who are not like me. If the whole world was filled with me, there would be no internet, because the internet thrives on people looking for stuff to do. I never look for stuff to do because I've already got too much. If you are a goal oriented person like me and you haven't accomplished those goals, there will never be a time where you're looking for something to do.

So yeah, people who are looking to kill some time in an entertaining fashion are my potential audience. I would also welcome obsessives with lots of imagination. I want to build a world so big and detailed that people obsess over it. That would make me very happy. Is that wrong?

You moan about the "literal internet". What is that?

The term "literal internet" was coined, to my knowledge, by US tech journalist, Molly Wood, describing those people who don't understand irony, satire or most comedy. You've certainly encountered them, everyone has. The literal internet are those sad folks who don't get the joke and come flaming back at you offended and hurt at something they thought you said, which of course you didn't. They are also the people most likely to tell you that you don't have a right to your own opinion. They are VERY serious.

What do you consider your greatest strengths?

Determination, longevity and everything mentioned in question number 2.

Is "Social Media" a passing phase?

It's certainly a passing term. Eventually everyone will take the ability to broadcast every mundane detail of their lives around the internet for granted and the novelty will wear off. The novelty has already worn off for me, which is why I've started using this stuff as an entertainment platform. Perhaps everyone will be doing that in a few years time.

What are your ultimate goals?

I'd like to expand The Nether Regions into a huge global collaborative alternate world, spanning all possible media types and delivery platforms. I'd like to get a lot more people involved, have a small local core of developers and make a living doing it. Read more about my ultimate goals here. I'd also like to own a submarine and fly around in a hydrogen fuel cell hovercar.

Last question: People way less creative and entertaining than you make shedloads of money. Why aren't you rich?

I've been asking myself that question since about 1979. I think it's probably because I'm not an arrogant, pushy, sales oriented personality, which seems to be the prerequisite for getting ahead in this world. Maybe I'm a victim of being too nice a guy. But probably it's because of my breath.